So I've been on hiatus for... a while. I'm okay. I wasn't okay. But I'm mostly okay now. I've had depression and anxiety for a very long time, but there's always been a good reason to push it aside. To tell myself that I'll be alright as long as I keep moving. That I don't … Continue reading I am here.
mental health
Life On Hold
I've gotten nothing done. I had a series I fully intended to write, multiple things I have talked about recording and releasing... and the bare truth here is that I simply haven't done it. I have a pocket full of excuses -- I have two kids, a schedule that leaves me with around an hour … Continue reading Life On Hold
A Conversation (Hyperlink Poem)
(Click each blue response to see the truth.)
Thoughts at 1 am
This is for the moms whose vacations were taken in the aisles of grocery stores, at the tables of cafés, in efficient trips to the shopping mall or gym.
Good Things Will Happen
I am not an optimist. In fact, I am an anxiety-ridden pessimist that will imagine the worst case of any given scenario. One day, my husband said to me: "You know the worst outcome isn't any more likely than any other outcome." "Yeah, so? It could still happen." "So could the best outcome. Why not … Continue reading Good Things Will Happen
Some Days
Some days I give so much of my love away that I forget to leave any for myself.
A Safe Distance
There is a space between you and me that measuresthe exact distancerequiredfor a wild animalto turn from deadlyto cute. It is the kind of distancethat plays tricks on the eye --blurring harsh edges,leaving only pointillistic impressionsthat tickle the most palatable of memories. It is the size ofscribblescoalescing into sense,kitchen knivesmistaken forwooden spoons. Ours is the … Continue reading A Safe Distance
Imagine This.
I want you to imagine something for me: Your skin feels numb. It's hardly noticeable at first -- the shower doesn't feel too hot, you don't need a sweater when everyone else does. Then it starts getting worse. You can't really feel anything. There is pressure and some distant recognition of touch, but no real sensation. Why? You … Continue reading Imagine This.
Iyashikei and Worlds That Heal
Sometimes we need a break: Curling up under the covers and watching a movie when we're sick. Reading a book in the bath with a glass of wine after a long day at work. Listening to a podcast in the dark after an anxiety attack. Binge-watching a favourite show with a carton of ice cream and a … Continue reading Iyashikei and Worlds That Heal
Everything Except Writing
I'm back! Yes, I took the past week off (hence the lack of updates) and I wanted to talk about my reasons, because it's something I've been struggling with a lot recently. In case you don't know, Secrets and Skin is a novel that I've already written and which I'm editing as I post. And promoting. … Continue reading Everything Except Writing
Amy Notdorft 