First, you must have a craving. This doesn’t have to be specific, any unfulfilled desire will do, especially when it has had time to age. The depth of want enhances the satisfaction of (pretending to) fill it.

Next, choose a mug. It must fit in your microwave, but be tall enough so that the rising mass of batter does not escape, making an encrusted mess. Mug cakes are for loosening stubborn problems, not causing them. Your chosen vessel must be safe to use inside of microwaves but also comforting in appearance. These are high expectations for a piece of crockery, so always treat it with care and kindness. Like you, it will break under too much pressure.

And yes, a microwave is necessary. This is not a proper baked cake requiring foresight and patience. A mug cake is a reflexive solution to a lack of patience and foresight, a step stool for what you lack the strength or have not grown enough to reach, so in this instance an oven just won’t do. 

The next step is the least important: choose a recipe. It really doesn’t matter which as long as you already have the required ingredients. Although, if I were to be so bold as to make recommendations I might suggest also selecting a recipe that requires no tools but a mug and a mixing utensil, and no steps but mix and microwave. Your future self will thank you. Also avoid recipes with eggs. Please, trust me.

Follow the recipe as best you can. If it doesn’t turn out, you can probably eat it anyway and the small portion means you have little to lose. Worst case scenario, this is excellent practice. Not for baking perhaps, but for failure. 

As you eat the product of your (minimal) labour, take note of where you do and do not feel full. You might feel a twinge of guilt, but you must remember: this is not a guilty pleasure, it is just pleasure, which too many people have made you believe you don’t deserve. I’ve yet to meet a person who does not deserve sweetness, and I often wonder if the people who come closest wouldn’t benefit from it most.

You will probably not be satisfied, unless your craving was nothing but a sweet tooth (in which case I envy you.) But if you’re lucky, the carbohydrates will soften the emptiness so at least it does not echo for a little while. And if you’re really lucky, in that comfortable silence you will hear it whisper. If you listen, who knows what you’ll learn.